Nothing remains sweeter to me

     Than the sound of being alone.

For there, I find solace and tranquility,

     Vanquishing my fears and doubts.

Emerging, like a butterfly from its cocoon,

     To face the sun's warmth, 

          And, humanity's embrace.

Dipped my brush into black water colored paint.

Shades of grey and black arced across the canvass.

Where are the colors `` the vibrant hues of life?

They remain inside of me.

Awaiting my return to clarity...

     to sanity...
          
          ...to calm.

He put the stars inside of me,
     I made the entire universe from his smile.

His caress grounded me within the earth,
     Connecting me to all living organisms within the soil.

I am, now, one with everything, and
     Everything, living or deceased, resides within me.

I am whole, and free.

Zhug – The Recipe (Yemenite Green Hot Sauce with Chili Peppers, Herbs and Oil)

Zhug is a spicy green hot sauce from Yemen made with chili peppers, fresh green herbs and lots of aromatic seasoning. Here is the recipe. Great as a finishing sauce or a condiment.

Ingredients

• 1 teaspoon ground black peppercorns

• ½ teaspoon cumin seeds

• ½ teaspoon coriander seeds

• ½ teaspoon cardamom seeds

• 1 cup loosely fermented cilantro

• 1 cup loosely packed parsley

• 5-6 serrano peppers chopped

• 4-5 jalapeno peppers chopped

• 4 cloves garlic crushed

• Juice from 1 lemon about 2-3 tablespoons

• ½ cup avocado oil

Instructions

1 Grind the peppercorns, cumin seeds, coriander seeds and cardamom seeds in a mortar and pestal into a coarse powder. Alternatively, start with powdered versions of these ingredients. Add them to a food processor along with the salt.

2 Add the remaining ingredients except for the olive oil to the food processor and pulse until the ingredients are chunky but combined.

3 Drizzle in the avocado oil and pulse/process until the oil is emulsified and the remaining sauce is thick and chunky.

4 Adjust for salt and use as needed.

Recipe Notes

Makes about 1.5 cups. 

Heat Level: Medium-Hot, because of the use of jalapeño and serrano peppers. Store your zhug in an airtight container in the refrigerator. It will keep a couple weeks easily.

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our

neighborhood.  I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall.  The

shiny receiver hung on the side of the box.  I was too little to reach the

telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

 

 

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an

amazing person.  Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she

did not know.  Information Please could supply anyone's number and the

correct time.

 

 

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my

mother was visiting a neighbor.  Amusing myself at the tool bench in the

basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer.  The pain was terrible, but

here seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give

sympathy.

 

 

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at

the stairway.  The telephone!  Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the

parlor and dragged it to the landing.  Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver

in the parlor and held it to my ear.  "Information, please" I said into the

mouthpiece just above my head.  A click or two and a small clear voice spoke

into my ear.

 

 

"Information."

 

"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone.  The tears came readily

enough now that I had an audience.

 

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

 

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

 

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

 

"No," I replied.  "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts." 

 

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

 

I said I could.

 

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the

voice.

 

 

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything.  I asked her for

help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was.  She helped

me with my math.  She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park

just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

 

 

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died.  I called "Information

Please" and told her the sad story.  She listened, and then said things

grown-ups say to soothe a child.

 

 

But I was not consoled.  I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so

beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of

feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

 

 

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne, always

remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

 

Somehow I felt better.

 

 

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please." 

 

"Information," said in the now familiar voice.  "How do I spell fix?" I

asked.

 

 

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest.  When I was

nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston.  I missed my friend

very much.  "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home

and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the

table in the hall.

 

 

As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never

really left me.  Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall

the serene sense of security I had then.  I appreciated now how patient,

understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

 

 

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle.

I had about a half-hour or so between planes.  I spent 15 minutes or so on

the phone with my sister, who lived there now.  Then without thinking what I

was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

 

 

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.  "Information."

 

 

I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me

how to spell fix?"

 

 

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your

finger must have healed by now."

 

 

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said.  "I wonder if you have any idea how

much you meant to me during that time?"

 

 

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your calls meant to me. I never

had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

 

 

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I

could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

 

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

 

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered,

"Information."   I asked for Sally.

  

"Are you a friend?" she said.

 

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered. 

 

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working

part-time the last few years because she was sick.  She died five weeks

ago."

 

 

Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was

Wayne?"

 

"Yes." I answered.

 

"Well, Sally left a message for you.  She wrote it down in case you called.

Let me read it to you."

 

 

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.  He'll know what

I mean." 

 

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

 

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.  Whose life have

you touched today?

 

Life is a journey, NOT a guided tour.

 

The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.

Anaïs Nin

 

Once self-awareness dawns in you, the questions you can ask about yourself, about how you think and feel, have no limit. Self-aware questions are the keys that make consciousness expand, and when that happens, the possibilities are infinite.

Deepak Chopra

The Road Not Taken

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both      

And be one traveler, long I stood      

And looked down one as far as I could      

To where it bent in the undergrowth;      

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,      

And having perhaps the better claim,      

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;      

Though as for that the passing there      

Had worn them really about the same,      

 

And both that morning equally lay      

In leaves no step had trodden black.      

Oh, I kept the first for another day!      

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,      

I doubted if I should ever come back.      

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh      

Somewhere ages and ages hence:      

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-      

I took the one less traveled by,      

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

_________________

 

There he was, in his cabin, removed from the world, not to renounce it, but to see it better.

from On Poets and Others 

by Octavio Paz 

on the occasion of his meeting 

with the poet Robert Frost

 

Life rarely unfolds exactly as we want it to. And if we stop and think about it, that makes perfect sense. The scope of life is universal, and the fact that we are not actually in control of life's events should be self-evident. 

The universe has been around for 13.8 billion years, and the processes that determine the flow of life around us did not begin when we were born, nor will they end when we die. What manifests in front of us at any given moment is actually something truly extraordinary - it is the end result of all the forces that have been interacting together for billions of years. 

We are not responsible for even the tiniest fraction of what is manifesting around us. Nonetheless, we walk around constantly trying to control and determine what will happen in our lives. No wonder there's so much tension, anxiety, and fear. Each of us actually believes that things should be the way we want them, instead of being the natural result of all the forces of creation.

Michael Singer, The Surrender Experiment

This eucalyptus,
with its elliptical leaves

dangling, light and dry
as an abandoned chrysalis,

with its modest bunches
of pale pink flowers

and languid pose,
is my unattainable ideal.

Of a piece,
in pieces,

past it all
and in plain view —

nowhere
in the blasted web

of stars

is there any
such beauty.

-- RAE ARMANTROUT

• 
  

On this voyage into the deep communion of solitude
I’ve casually come to know
the old and withered costumes of the sea;

I’ve walked carefully through the colors of copper
when the dusk has already conjured the last prayer of the day;

Through seasonal doorways
I’ve called upon the twilight ghosts
arched in the corners of the narrow cobblestone streets;

I’ve let my lips evade the necessary verses
to find the ending phrase for the afternoon;

I’ve disarmed the elusive equity of the night
to conceive an intimate verse from its fortified mysteries;

I’ve cast aside the grieving songs of my twilight
as the sky envelops the enamored vestments of the night;

I’ve done
        and undone
                so many things
                          in search of you…

-- Oscar Gonzales, 2007

I don’t know what seas
rivers
or secret passages
you have to cross
but I'm waiting for you today
at sunset
so we may listen together
to a Bach fugue.

-- Claribel Alegria, 1995

Several friends are near the completion of the Pacific Crest Trail, an arduous hike the length of the Sierras starting at the Mexican border and ending at the US - Canada border.  Here are some photos of part of their journey.

These past two weeks I spent ten days in Honduras visiting several cities and exploring the coast.  I've contacted a real estate agent, and started looking at properties, specifically single family homes (2+ bedrooms and baths), and condos of the same approximate size.  Homes and condos of this size sell for $50000 to 100000.  Taxes annually are less than $500. Utilities, water and sewer approximately $50 monthly.  Food, there are plenty of open air markets offering all kinds of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seafood and other meats, costs about $25 per week.

Public transportation exists, however it is not reliable nor does it cover all areas of Honduras.  Should I buy property  I will need to import some small used 4X4 SUV or pickup truck for personal use. Something five to ten years of age, with a rebuilt front and rear end, tires, wheels, brakes and rebuilt engine. 

There are large national parks teeming with wildlife; beaches are white and clean, and the ocean is free of debris and contamination.

Politically, Honduras has been relatively quiet, although, recently, accusations of government corruption and links to the drug cartels have surfaced. English is spoken frequently, Spanish remains the primary language. 

Here are photos from my recent stay:

Yes, I have been less motivated than I should about posting on my tiny home experiences. I see an enormous amount of information on the internet and television extolling the values and simplicity of tiny home living.  And, there is no doubt, it offers some of the most sublime moments, as you realize everything you need and want are within a few feet.

I continue to live in my tiny home, now situated in Palm Sprngs.  I do not wish to change my living conditions. I do wish I could take my tiny home elsewhere. But, I gave up my pickup, because, I do not feel I have the driving reflexes to tow a 12,000 pound tiny home.  Too much traffic, and too many bad drivers cutting in front of you.

So...instead of driving with my tiny home across the country, I have opted on traveling, simply, overseas.  Thus far, I have traveled throughout South and Central America, Southeast Asia and Canada and Alaska.  Nest up is Central and Northern Africa, and the Middle East. 

Life can be full of adventures, you need to pick and choose what meets your needs, your desires and passions.

After spending a long weekend in Monterey, I traveled to Santa Barbara to visit friends, sail to the Channel Islands, and hike through mountains east of Santa Barbara.  Here are a few photos of the beach, the Channel Islands and small creek in the mountains.

Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

An Irish Blessing

I wish you health,
I wish you well and happiness galore.
I wish you luck for you and friends.
What could I wish you more?

May your joys be as deep as the oceans,
Your troubles as light as its foam.

And may you find

Sweet peace of mind
Wherever you may roam.

You Need Not Leave Your Room - Franz Kafka

You need not leave your room.
Remain seated at your table
and listen. You need not even listen;
simply wait; just be quiet, still, solitary.
The world will freely offer
itself to you to be unmasked.
It has no choice; it will roll
in ecstasy at your feet.

Spent a long weekend on the Central Coast helping a couple put the finishing touches on their recently remodeled home. They also have access to the beach, where we rode their horses. Hard work, good food, great horseback riding and lots of laughter and wine. A welcome relief from the desert heat!

I looked for a word to say,
but could not find one that day.
I wished for a word that would stay in your heart,
That would show you exactly what tore us apart.

I hate what you did; I hate you so deeply.
I hate what you said; I hate you so sweetly.
I look at you and cannot tell what's in your eyes.
I talk to you, but all that comes out of your mouth are lies.

I see how you hurt and I don't understand.
All your true feelings are kept in a far away land.
A land we called love,
But now it's destruction.

It's true in a way we both long for each other.
But we both seem to long for another.
Another person we both thought we were,
But now it seems that this person I thought you were is now a blur.

This is a bitter sweet heart that will end in destruction.
And this is a bitter sweet part that needs some construction.
Why I hold on, I do not know why.
I should move on yes, but I'd rather just die.

You caused destruction in my heart.
You caused destruction because you thought it would be smart.
I hate you, I hate you so deeply.
I hate you, but I'm hating you sweetly.

Walking in the high desert, 
My heart was always at ease.
Whether in the noon day sun, 
Or in the evening breeze.

The cholla and the Joshua tree, 
As far as I can see.
And yellow flowers in the spring, 
The ravens flying free, 

The snow upon the mountains, 
Jack rabbits bounding across the sand.
Coyotes howling at the moon at night, 
Behind the cactus stands.

Walking in the high desert, 
I found myself again.
And found a beauty never known to me, 
I never missed the rain.
Beautiful memories, I retain.

Burnt orange and ochre --
color de cafe --
pineapple, lime, red pajaritos...
land of mananas, grace in mantillas...
balanced canastas, ojos expresivos.
Sunshine and heat, fiesta y corrida,
salt and tortilla, pride and tequila.
Frijol and machismo and chile con queso.
Adobe, caliche, sweet agua fria...
Mexico, te amo mucho, y su gente amable!

What childishness is it that while there’s a breath of life

in our bodies, we are determined to rush

to see the sun half way around the world?

Or, the tiniest green hummingbird in the world?...

Must we dream our dreams

and have them, too?

Talking of beauty, you enter my mind.

No single soul reveals more pleasure than you.

All imperfection washes away from you.

You remain a symbol of hope, grace and  serenity.

Giving is different than giving up;
     in giving we gain ourselves.

We spread ourselves outward,
     like the plant from its roots.

The plant giving flowers and seeds;
     not giving up roots, not giving up
           its own place in the dark sun.

Giving without giving up,
     a giving illuminated heart.

Boundaries moving in,
     moving out.

Letting love in,
     letting love out.

Rules For My Grandson

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.

6. Request the late check-out.

7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

10. Don’t fill up on bread.

11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.

16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

19. Never turn down a breath mint.

20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.

21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

25. Eat lunch with the new kid.

26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

28. See it on the big screen.

29. Give credit. Take the blame.

30. Write down your dreams.